One of the biggest hurdles to showing up as a speaker is narrowing down your speaking topic. There are so many experiences you can choose from in your life, so many trials you have overcome, so many topics you are passionate about! How do you know which one to turn into a speech?
In my experience, it is a process of evolution. You must choose one topic and run with it or you will never get started. The thing to remember is that your topic is not permanent. It can morph and develop into something new over time. It can be totally abandoned for something better down the road. But until you start speaking, you won’t have anything to work with. Throw some clay on that wheel with whatever topic excites you the most TODAY.
My first topic was “How to Overcome Depression” because that’s what I had just gone through. I had gone cold turkey off my depression meds and completely changed my attitude, perspective, and mindset. I was a new person! I was excited to tell people about it! And I had been aware enough through the process to realize what was happening to me. I remember the tools and strategies I used to fight that 12 year depression and could teach it to another. Thus my first speech was born.
I didn’t speak on that topic for very long - it was less than a year, but it got me out there speaking and it gave me precious hours of experience on stage. Without that experience, I would not feel comfortable trying out a new speech topic when the urge to change topics hit me.
Soon I was speaking on manifesting and ended up writing a book on it. My signature presentation became The Drive-Thru Method of Manifesting and I spoke all over the world about it! And I still do, although now I also speak on how to use speaking to grow your business and how to break through your fear of success.
The key here is that you aren’t stuck with your topic for the rest of your life! So lighten up, pick something you are passionate about, and start showing up as a speaker now. Let your message evolve into whatever it needs to be over time and don’t worry about whether it’s perfect now or not. (It’s not! And that’s ok!)
This first step is all about identifying the skills, knowledge, and experiences that set you apart from all the other speakers that share your general topic. Maybe you’ve got formal education, certifications, or unique professional experiences that others don’t. Maybe your life has been perfectly engineered to lead you to become an expert at that thing you have mastered. Think about both hard skills, like financial planning or health coaching, and soft skills, like communication or emotional intelligence. Be generous with yourself when listing your skills! When you have identified at least 20, you will be ready for step 2!
Obstacle:
Here’s the most common hurdle you might face when doing step 1: Impostor Syndrome rearing its ugly head. You might get that nagging feeling that you’re not really an expert and someone else knows more than you. This often stems from perfectionism or comparing yourself to others and can keep you from following your dreams and taking inspired action steps. And unfortunately Imposter Syndrome will keep you trapped on that hamster wheel for years if you don’t let go of it!
To overcome Imposter Syndrome, focus on your actual experiences and successes instead of your imaginary scenarios where everything goes wrong. Remember that fear is having faith in future pain! Stop imagining everything that could go wrong and instead focus on your wins! Write down specific examples of times you’ve helped clients or achieved great results.
I suggest you create yourself a "Brag Book" or success journal. This is a document or binder where you list all your achievements, big and small. Update it regularly and review it whenever self-doubt creeps in. Success energy is powerful and you can tap into that energy every day by keeping a success journal! By doing this, you’ll gain confidence in your abilities and realize you have valuable insights to share. This boosts your credibility and helps you speak with authority while banishing all thoughts of Imposter Syndrome!
Kelly: Next, let’s explore your passions. When you speak about something you truly care about, your enthusiasm is contagious and your audience will be highly engaged with your speech. Start this step by listing topics that excite you.
Here’s a hint if you have a hard time coming up with a list: what kinds of things do you spend your free time reading about, studying, or talking to others about? Chances are, those are things you are passionate about.
Here’s an example: I am passionate about hair - I love watching hairstyling videos, haircut videos, shopping for new hair extensions, talking about hair extensions, and toying with the idea of going grey someday. Does that mean I should be speaking on stage about hair? No, but I do mention hair in several of my speeches because it’s a big part of my life and lots of people can relate to hair stories!
I’m also passionate about drumming - I love drums, have 2 drums, drum myself when I’m stressed out, and sometimes I even bring my drums to use at my events to move the energy! My signature presentation is NOT about drums, but often drums are somehow involved even if it’s just in the prep before the event to manage my stress.
Go ahead and make a list of 20 things you are interested in and please note that doesn’t mean you have to be expert in those things - we are only looking at interest in this step.
Let’s say you are most passionate about helping others feel empowered and you have high expertise in that also. This would be a GREAT speaking topic for you to start with! Or maybe you are super passionate about running your business on Facebook and you are highly expert at doing that - there is another great speaking topic for you!
Once you align your passion with your expertise, you become a powerful speaker that truly changes lives from the stage!
Stories make your message relatable and memorable. They help illustrate your points in a way that engages your audience and resonates with them on a level that information alone can never take them to.
The problems I see my speaking clients run into during this step can feel really hard and insurmountable, but let me remind you that this is a process and your choices are never permanent! You can upgrade your stories for as long as you are speaking!
Lets look at the 2 big problems you might face with this step. First: You might have a fear of getting too personal with your stories. You don’t want to make yourself look bad, or you don’t want to make a family member look bad. Maybe there is a lot of abuse in your journey and you don’t know how to safely share those stories! How much detail is too much or not enough? What if you can’t tell that story without getting so emotional you end up on the floor in a puddle of tears?
Second: You might not know how to identify which of your life stories are important, impactful, and transformational. It can be challenging to step back and be objective when feeling all the feelings of your big stories, so you can’t get clarity on the lessons they might teach. You have so many experiences you could share that you are overwhelmed by too many options. And what if you choose one that is a dud? Or one that triggers your audience beyond your ability to handle?
These problems MUST be overcome because sharing personal stories is non-negotiable!
If you want to reach people, you have to tell stories from your life. Sharing personal stories helps you connect with your audience on a deeper level. It makes you more relatable and human, which builds trust and engagement.
I’m now going to share my best tips for dealing with these 2 problems: fear of a too raw story that exposes too much, and fear of not being able to choose the right story to teach your lesson most effectively.
First, learn to identify safe but powerful stories. Telling a story you haven’t recovered from is a danger zone you want to avoid. If it would hurt someone else involved in the story, find a way to tell it that doesn’t identify that person. If you can’t do that, then it’s not time to share that story.
Also if you are still suffering from the events in the story, it’s like speaking from an open wound instead of a scar. When we speak from our scars, we have a manageable emotional response and aren’t in danger of having a breakdown on stage.
Record yourself telling the story and when you watch it back, listen for too much emotion, bitterness, anger, or exposing other people’s secrets in a reckless way. If your story has any of those, it’s not time to share that story, so choose another one. Keep testing until you find a story that is both safe and powerfully authentic. Remember, always be yourself, but you don’t have to reveal your whole self to the point of not being safe.
Next, Start a story file. If you don’t know what that is or want to learn more about it, check out the book Storyworthy by Matthew Dicks! Start by opening a google doc on your phone and laptop that you can access at any time. When something happens that could be a story, write it down in that google doc.
And when you have some free time, sit down and start listing your life stories. You don’t have to write them out in detail, just give them a name and a synopsis to jog your memory. Update it anytime you remember a story from the past! Its amazing how your memories will open up and start flowing once you start this practice!
When you are preparing a speech, think about what you want your audience to learn and then look at your story file for stories that COULD teach that principle. For instance, if I wanted to teach my audience to follow their dreams, I would want them to feel hopeful, empowered, and to take an inspired action step. I would want to tell a story of a time I felt inspired to do something out of my comfort zone and pushed through the fear and did the thing - and how that thing was like the first domino and once I knocked it over, my progress became like an avalanche! So I would go through my story file and look for stories that have those elements.Having a story file to refer to makes writing speeches infinitely easier and faster, so please start one today!
The stress of having to make your first talk become your signature presentation for the rest of your speaking life is enough to keep anyone from even getting started!
Remember my first big speech was on overcoming depression and I only gave it a few times before I leveled up and moved on to a topic I was more expert in and had more passion for - manifesting! And I have leveled up several times since then to topics I am even MORE expert at and have even MORE passion for. The key is to let go of the idea that if you write a speech and put all that work into it, then it has to be your topic for ever after. Take the pressure of yourself to get it perfect before you start speaking or else you will probably never start speaking!
Perfectionism has killed more dreams than failure ever will! Just get out there and start sharing the message you have now and you will get practice speaking! You will also gradually gain clarity on what works and what doesn’t work for you and your ideal client. If you never pick a topic and never start speaking, that clarity will never come and you will forever remain in the audience when your soul burns to be up on that stage. Don’t let that happen to you because you belong in the spotlight, changing lives from the stage.